I have a job interview Monday. I've been suit shopping for a few weeks now. This week, I found one. And the jacket is a size 18.. some people would be horrified to wear an 18. I am THRILLED. Sure, the pants are still 20. But they're a little big, and I probably could have bought an 18, but they didn't have a pair in that size. I find myself with more confidence to wear tighter clothes now. I feel really good about myself. I've started to get some comments from people noticing my weight loss and it feels really good.

I'm not going to be able to make the Weight Watchers meetings for a few weeks. On Monday, I'll be at my interview. Then the next Monday is Labor Day. I think I might just weigh myself at home for a couple of weeks, then get weighed in again officially on September 12.

Someone commented today on how tall I am. I think it's that I'm looking tall, not just, well, big.

I am more convinced than ever that eliminating high fructose corn syrup from my diet is the key.

I'm so surprised that I lost today. I was prepared to be okay if I went up to 264. And instead I saw the 250's! It was kind of weird. I'd been so prepared for gaining that losing really threw me. A few weeks ago, I was so excited to see a number in the 250's. Today, it was anticlimatic, after this hard couple of weeks.

But I'm hanging in there. I'm still moving forward. Thanks for the comments! I really appreciate them. I'm going to start weight training this week.

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Bad food decisions. No exercise. Barely logging. I need to shape up!! I will deserve every ounce if I go up. I can't even buy myself a treat if I go up, because I really haven't been doing good. I'm going to do super good the next four days and exercise. And then hopefully, I'll at least stay even on Monday.

This past week was hard. Very hard. Tough with eating and exercise. That gain last week was rough. Considering how I could have done, though, I wasn't too bad off. Yesterday I was on a business trip, and for the first time, I went over my points for the week. I had weighed in in the morning and I pretty much just lost what I had gained last week. Since it was a morning weigh in, I was expecting to lose more. *sigh*

I just need to keep going. Right? Man, this gets tough sometimes.

Earlier this week was tough. I am definitely going to start giving myself a good reward every week my weight goes up even though I have done everything right. That way, I'll have something to look forward to, and I won't get so bummed out.

Wednesday night, I went out to dinner with a friend. She ordered an appetizer, and I ordered a pizza, which I haven't had in a really long time. I ate a couple of the pieces of the appetizer (6 points) and half of the pizza (10). So, overall, I did pretty well. Then that night, when I got home, I ate the rest of the pizza (10). Normally, I'd say no problem. I still had plenty of weekly points left. I didn't even go that far over my daily total, since I had small meals the rest of the day. The problem was that I wasn't hungry when I ate the other half of the pizza. I just wanted to eat it. It was the first time I've felt out of control like that since I started Weight Watchers. It scared me quite a bit, because I thought I had left that behind me. For the first time, I thought, Wow, maybe this won't be the time that works. Maybe I'll go right back to where I started. I was even tempted to not write down the pizza so I could be "perfect." But I wrote it down and just tried to do well the next few days, which I've done. So I stumbled, but didn't fall. I'm sure this will happen to me again at some point, so I'm glad I'm writing this down. If I got over it once, I can do it again.

And, like a little reward, I got on my bathroom scale just now, and it says "259." And that's in the afternoon! Plus, my bathroom scale is usually a few pounds heavier than the Weight Watchers scale! It may not be that way on Monday, but it was still nice to see. I know in the past, my weight has usually reflected the activities and food of two weeks before, not the week before. So maybe my good week is just now catching up to me. I'm going on a business trip on Monday afternoon, so I'll miss my usual WW meeting. I think I'm going to go to the one on Monday morning instead. But it will mean a skewed weight for a couple of weeks, since I always weigh a couple of pounds less in the morning.

I think I have this pattern thing all figured out. Down three weeks, up one week. I gained 1.2 pounds. But I did great this past week, I exercised twice, and I didn't even dip much into my weekly points. So I think that's just how my body works. And next week it'll go down again. Before I started journaling and recognizing the patterns, I just would have seen the number go up, gotten completely discouraged, and given up. But now, I know I just need to hang in there. Plus, with the exercise, part of it's probably muscle. I do feel really good, and the clothes are still loose, so I know it's not that I'm actually gaining weight. I just need to hang in there! But man, seeing that number on the scale is such a powerful motivator to keep going. Or such a discouraging factor if it's higher. I know that you're supposed to let how tight the clothes feel, or how fit you feel, be a judge. But why do those make a smaller impact than that three digit number between your toes?

I might start skipping that week at weigh-in. Then I'd only see the down numbers and that one going up wouldn't bother me as much. I'll see what happens with the next three weigh-ins and think about that one.

You know, they encourage you to give yourself rewards when you've gotten to certain goals. But I think seeing a smaller number is reward in itself. The weeks that I need the rewards are the weeks where I did everything right and I gained. Those are so much harder!

Went for a walk today. Not real hungry this week. Hope it will all pay off tomorrow! But I'm expecting the weight to go up, if my pattern from last month repeats again.

Today at lunch, I went to a place I hadn't gone before. I'm such a creature of habit, that I usually end up going to the same places over and over again. So I went to this new place and ordered a sandwich with a side of fries. And I ate half of the sandwich and half of the fries, and boxed the rest up. I ate slowly and was totally full. Then, at dinner, I walked with a friend to a restaurant in the neighborhood. I had measured the distance in my car, and it's about 3 miles round trip. So I had a really great day!

When I went to my facial appointment, I had to lie down on a table without a pillow. I was apprehensive to get on the table, because normally when I lie down on a flat surface, my butt is so big that it makes my back really uncomfortable. I can't lie flat. But this time, I noticed a difference! I could lie there and I was relatively flat touching the table. Another little good thing!

I'm in the middle of a job search, and I just found out I got an interview. It's going to be at the end of the month. I'm going to try to step up my exercise and weight training so that I can look as good as possible for it. I went out today and bought something to wear for it, but I'm going to leave the tags on in case I lose weight by then and can buy a smaller size!

10 pound award! That first star looks really good on my 5 pound bookmark. I left plenty of room for all of the other stars I'm going to get! Ah.. such a good feeling. I did pretty well, too, losing 2.4 pounds. Next week, I'm determined to get into the 250's. However, this is the week of the month that I gained a little last month. So if I do go up, I'm not going to be upset, because that may just be how my body loses weight. Down three, up one. Down three, up one. That's okay, as long as the overall trend is down, I'm not going to complain! Keep up the good work, body!

To celebrate my 10 pound loss, I'm going to go get a facial on Thursday. If I go up again next week, I'm going to start making that the week I do the Core plan, to maybe counteract that loss. And I'll be sure to do a fair amount of exercise this week. Maybe I'll just watch the carbs a bit.

Tonight, I went to a movie theatre to see "March of the Penguins." (Which is really good, by the way.) The last time I went to this theatre, it was actually quite painful. It's an older theatre, so the seats aren't meant for today's larger bottoms. They're fairly narrow, and my thighs were smarting a bit by the end of the night. Tonight, I was comfortable! Those little victories are so wonderful. Another change I've noticed is that I'm not out of breath after I've climbed three flights of stairs now. I've also started to see the change in my face. I'm losing my double chin a bit. I'm going to take my next set of pictures, since I'm so close to 260. Because next week, I'll hopefully be below 260!