My friends didn't notice about my weight loss. But that's okay. I really haven't lost that much yet. And it's kind of nice not to talk about it yet. The nice thing is that I wore a shirt that I haven't been able to wear in about 3 years.

Weigh in tomorrow! I have my fingers crossed for 10 pound award (I better get that!) and under 260 (a long shot).

Right now, I am in seventh heaven. I am going shopping in my own closet. I am putting on clothes that haven't fit me in a couple of years. I'm also making a pile of clothes for Goodwill that are starting to droop on me.

This feeling is worth all the Krispy Kreme doughnuts in the world!

Once I get a little pile of clothes together, I'm going to donate them to Dress for Success.

I went to the mall today and was shopping in Sephora. I found myself really debating whether or not to buy something, it cost about $5. And you know? When I used to go to Jack in the Box, I'd order some hamburgers, a soda and a cheesecake, and not even think twice about spending that $5. So you can bet that I'm going to spend that $5 at Sephora and not think twice!

I.. (drum roll, please) exercised! Yesterday, I went on a 45-minute walk. I felt really good, too! I didn't worry about my heart rate as much as just getting out and walking. I'm going to go again tomorrow. I wanted to give myself a day off, since my muscles were a little sore, and I don't want to overdo things.

I wore a shirt today that I wear quite often. But when I put it on, it felt different. It was sort of hanging on me, instead of feeling wrapped around me. Does that make sense? It actually felt baggy. It feels so good! I think that finding out your clothes are too big is the best feeling. These little bits of reinforcement help, because they give me the motivation to keep going. But I am starting to feel, now that I've been doing Weight Watchers for 5 weeks, like this is a lifestyle change, not a diet. I can do this for the rest of my life. I just need to slowly build in the exercise. And even that's easier, now that I'm losing a little. I live in a fourth floor walkup, no elevator. When I was done with my walk yesterday, I actually ran up all three flights of stairs, and felt good! I even giggled when I got to the top!

Next time I go to the supermarket, I'm going to pick up a 10 pound bag of flour or something, so I can feel how much I've lost. That's what always freaks me out a little. I don't always feel like I weigh too much. Being tall, I think I can get away with more weight on my frame. Before my last vacation, I was weighing my suitcase to make sure it didn't go over the weight limit. It weighed a ton, I could barely pick it up. Then when I weighed it on the scale, it came in at 50 pounds. No wonder I'm so tired! If I'm caring around 2 1/2 of those heavy suitcases in addition to what my normal weight should be, then no kidding! I need to lose some weight! It definitely puts it into perspective.

I'm going out with some friends this weekend. I haven't seen them in a few months. Will they notice my weight loss? I'm not sure if I want to talk about it yet.

Life is good! Thanks for the encouragement, Sara & Maggie! *Hugs* to you both!

First things first: I lost 2 pounds! How annoying, I am only 0.2 pounds away from getting my 10 lb. award. The woman who weighed me said, Is there anything you can take off? But unless I was going to strip down to my bra, that was not an option. If only I had worn a lighter shirt! Oh, well. It will hopefully be waiting for me next week. I'd love to get the 10 lb. award AND go under 260, though it's a bit much, but it's a motivator to get me exercising this week.

I was thinking why this has been so easy this time. I think another reason is getting rid of HFCS (see my plan section for more info). I really don't have the cravings for food that I used to. I'll have a craving for a particular healthy food, but not for junk food. It's seriously easy to drive past the doughnut shop. I'm not even kidding. I just have the normal portion control issues that I think most people have.

Last night, I went out to a birthday dinner for a friend. Italian food. Hard to stick to the points when you're eating Italian! So I ate light all day, so I'd have some extra points to use. I had a couple of bites of fried calamari, since that's one of my favorites (3 points). I had a small slice of bread (2) and a piece of bruschetta (3). For dinner, I had a square of lasagna (6), steamed broccoli (0) and a salad with no dressing (0). Finally, I had half of a piece of tres leches cake (8) and enjoyed every bite. I felt like I had indulged in this luxurious dinner, but I only went 4 points over my total for the day! I'm getting really good at planning my day.

I have a couple of weeks off work, so I think this will be a good time to start building in some exercise, so that I'm in the routine when I go back to work.

Another high - I'm almost 10% of the way through my 125 weight loss goal. That just means I need to do this 9 more times. And this has been relatively easy! Of course, I haven't really hit any plateaus. But it's only taken me a month to get this far (since the time I've started Weight Watchers, not counting that first crazy month and a half on my own). So I'm pretty confident about my success. And truly, this online journal has helped so much. I like to envision typing in those loss numbers into my website. And sometimes, I even type in numbers for the week ahead, just so I can see what it will look like! I think it's another thing that's made a difference. Thank you to those of you who've left me comments over the last couple of months. It always gives me a boost when I read one, and helps keep me on the right track! Just think, next week, I might be taking my 260 pound picture! Wow.. I can't even believe it. This is the lowest weight I've been in 4 years. Amazing.

Last night is one of the first times I've gone a little overboard in my eating in over a month. And, in the grand scheme of things, I really didn't do that bad. My friends and I went to a tapas restaurant, and I was ordered really healthy items: a grilled chicken breast, salad, grilled vegetables, roasted potatoes, haricots verts. But, we also ordered garlic bread with cheese. I meant to just have one slice, but I ended up having four. They were small slices, only one inch wide, but I still felt like I was out of control, just one after the other. But it also makes me realize how far I've come, as in the past I would have also ordered dessert, a soft drink, and other unhealthy stuff. And this is the first time all week that I had dipped into my weekly points, so I'm even still on the Flex plan.

The Winning Points Weight Watchers Flex plan is working so much better for me than the old Flex plan. I think the big reason I'm successful is because of the weekly points. Some weeks, I'm able to stay within my daily points no problem. But others, I'm still so hungry. And in the past, this used to be a reason I'd give up on the plan and go back to my old habits. But now, if my hunger fluctuates, I just use some weekly points and still feel like I'm doing everything right. It's a lifesaver. Figuratively and literally! I smiled at myself in the mirror last night, and I'm starting to see my cheekbones again!

My parents are going to be visiting in a month and a half. I haven't told either or them, particularly my mom, that I'm losing weight. In the past, when I'd tell her, she'd get so invested in me losing that I felt like I was losing it for her. But now, I feel like this is just for me. I'm the only one who can control my weight, and I'm the only one I'm doing this for. No one else. I think that's another reason for my success.

Another great food find: Trader Joe's Egg White Egg Salad. This store may not be in your area, but if it is, and you like egg salad, this is awesome! Half a small (dip-size) container is 1 point, which makes a nice size sandwich. Pair it with 2 slices of bread for 1 point, and you have a 2 point sandwich! I use it when I need a snack or when I'm hungry and it's great.

You might notice a change in my stats numbers. That's because I realized that my height when I get measured at the doctor's office is 5' 9", not 5' 10". So whether I shrunk, or whether 5' 10" was just wishful thinking, I'm going to go conservatively and say I'm 5' 9" to get a more accurate BMI.

My first real compliment, from someone who didn't know I was on Weight Watchers, came today. Most of the people in my direct office know I'm on Weight Watchers, and they've been telling me that I look like I've lost weight, but I think that's because they know to look for it. Today, one of my staff came in and said, Have you been losing weight? He said he could tell when I was walking outside. I was thrilled! Also, two of the women in my office told me I have to stop wearing the pants I wore today, because they're too big on me and that they look bad. When I got home, I folded them up, and put them in a corner of the closet, until I have enough clothes to bring down to Goodwill.

I was really hot today, so I went through my drawer of shorts, which I haven't worn in ages. Most of them are size 18, and I've been wearing a size 22 or 24 pants. But I found a pair of shorts that's a size 20, and I put them on and they fit!! I felt great. When I got on my scale at home this morning (I usually check it in the mornings) it said 262. I'm hoping that will mean I'm down on Monday for my next weigh in! I would love to get my 10-pound award this week.

It's been really easy to stay on track so far this week with my eating. I hope it's this easy the rest of the week. I really need to start exercise, though. I haven't done any so far. And I know that's going to catch up to me soon.

I absolutely can't wait to see a number in the 250's. I haven't weighed less than 260 in at least 4 years.

I went in to Weight Watchers today feeling the same as last week. I told myself, if you're anything 269 or under, just be happy. But - I lost 2.2 pounds! I almost didn't go today, because I figured I'd gained. I'm so glad I went!

This has been a challenging week. I got weighed in on Monday, and I was up 0.2 pounds. In the grand scheme of things, I recognize that that's good, and that there's so many reasons why the scale could have stayed (essentially) the same. Water, excess salt, wearing heavier clothes. But still, I was so frustrated. I had done everything right last week. It's hard to focus on how I feel instead of the number on the scale.

After I left the Weight Watchers meeting, I wanted to give up. Have one of my "I'll eat what I want and start again tomorrow." I went by Taco Bell and really thought about whether or not I wanted to go overboard, knowing how many points I'd have to write down. Because I've really made a vow to write down everything, even days when I "mess up." Because if I don't write something down, just to look perfect, I'm only cheating myself. So, as I waited in line, I decide to get one taco. And I ate it on the way home. It's probably the worst thing nutritionally that I've eaten in a month. It was 5 points. I sat down and figured out how many points a splurge at Taco Bell used to be: 3 tacos (15), a bean burrito with no cheese (7) and a large soda (9) - a total of 31 points. No wonder I had gained weight. So a splurge of 5, overall, was not too bad. I also had a pop-tart (5) later that night. But again, considering how my "bad food days" used to be, I'm happy when I look back on that day. This week has still been hard. It's the week of the month when I'm ravenous. But since I've been journaling, I knew it was coming. I've tried to be easy on myself this week, and have had some dark chocolate every day, which seems to satisfy my cravings. So if I can get through to my weigh-in on Monday without having gone completely overboard, I'll feel like I've done well.

One thing that lies ahead is the challenge of exercise. I may be hitting a wall because I really haven't increased my calorie expenditure yet. So I'm going to try to get a long walk in today or tomorrow.

The days are flying by, even faster than I would have believed. This week was filled with accomplishment for me. I went away on vacation for a couple of days, with lots of restaurants (including a buffet lunch) for a temptation. At one place, I ordered a hamburger, fries and potato skins. Typical fare for what I used to eat. But I only ate half of the hamburger, half of the potato skins, and ordered the potato skins with just a little cheese. I really did stop when I was full. Plus, I had planned my day for me to eat more points at that meal, so I only dipped into my weekly points allotment - I didn't use it all up. The next day, at a buffet lunch, I had some of my favorites, but I was just careful: a cup of fruit (1 point), a salad (0), a little bite of mashed potatoes, which I stopped eating when I realized they weren't good enough to waste points on (1), turkey with cranberry sauce - yum (5), some peel and eat shrimp (2).. then I splurged on some mini desserts, which is what I really love at the buffets (10). So overall, I only used 19 points at the buffet, and I had eaten it for brunch, so I didn't eat again until dinner, which was a light dinner. Overall, not too bad!

Today, I had a BBQ to go to at work. I thought about it ahead, and knew the foods that would pack a huge point value if I ate them. So I brought my own Crystal Light lemonade (0) and had a chicken sandwich (5), a slice of cheese pizza (5) and a little tiny bite of potato salad, just so I could have a taste (1). I was fine! I had a nice big salad for dinner. Making choices is getting a lot easier.

I have 8 weekly points left for the week, but I'm trying not to use them, since I've eaten out a lot this week (I just don't want to have underestimated my points). Just three more days to go until I start fresh. But next week will be a real telling week, as it's the week I'm usually ravenous. I'll go back through to some of my good days, when I felt really full, and try to duplicate some of those meals.

Yippee!! 3 pounds lost! I feel like I've been eating a lot of food - just different kinds. More vegetables and fruits mostly. Hardly any packaged foods. However, I did weigh in earlier in the day, and on a different scale, so hopefully the numbers won't be higher next week.

Today, I'm going to a Fourth of July BBQ, so here's my plan: I'm bringing my roasted corn salad (see earlier entry for recipe info) and hummus and whole wheat pita bread. That way, I know there are two things I can eat that won't mess me up points wise. I'm going to bring a chicken breast to grill, since I don't know what kind of meats they'll have. Plus, I'm going to eat a sandwich before I go so I won't be too hungry.

Food find: Earlier this week, I was horrified to see that two thick cut slices of bacon I ate had 12 points. I love BLT's, but bacon is a killer. Smart Bacon only has 1 point for 2 slices. It's not quite as tasty as regular bacon (I made some for breakfast this morning), but it sure tastes good for 1 point! I think it will be especially great for BLT's, when you just need that bacon flavor in your sandwich.

Last night, I mixed some strawberries with a little sugar and balsamic vinegar and served it over frozen yogurt for dessert. It was only 3 points, and it was yummy!

Happy Fourth of July!

Today was the ultimate challenge of challenges in regards to Weight Watchers: fair foods. I went to the fair with some people from work, plus we went out to breakfast before. I knew it would be a challenge, so I looked up my favorite fair foods ahead of time at CalorieKing.com. Some of them weren't too bad: cotton candy (3 points), corn dog (6), frozen chocolate banana (4), churro (3). Others weren't surprising: fried twinkie (12), funnel cake (20). But some were: soft pretzel (7), caramel apple (8). I finally settled on a strawberry crepe for 7 points, as it would still be a fruit serving, so somewhat healthy, but luxurious enough so that I would feel like I had a real treat, worth spending the 7 points on. So, because I did a little research beforehand, the fair trip was a great success. Between the fair and breakfast, I only ended up using 15 of my flex points for the week.

HFCS Alert! The first ingredient listed in Weight Watchers 2 Points bars is high-fructose corn syrup. Scary!

Since Monday, my normal WW meeting day, is the fourth of July, I'm going to go weigh in on Sunday morning.