Time is flying by so fast this month. I'm feeling pretty positive about my food choices. I do so much better on the Core program, though I do feel a bit more deprived, which I know isn't a good thing. If I had 40 points instead of 35 for the week, I think it would be a little easier. I'm going to follow Core, but if I go over a few points for the week, I'm not going to kick myself. Better to go over a few points and stay on a program that helps me eat healthfully than to give up completely and start bingeing again. It's part of the whole not trying to be perfect thing. Trying to be perfect is my downfall.

Work has been somewhat of a treadmill lately. I get too much of my identity from work, and I'm trying to figure out other ways to find it. I need a new hobby. What should I do?

I can't wait for the Weight Watchers meeting on Monday. I want to lose again. I'm setting a few mini-goals. Let's see - 260 pounds by June 5, and 250 pounds by July 15. I think those are both realistic. And I would love love love to be under 230 by September 1. I think I can do it if I start exercising.

I started feeling better today. I also started the Core plan. I had an omelet and fruit salad at lunch, and chicken, mashed potatoes and veggies for dinner. Then a Weight Watchers chocolate cake for one point, and a bag of popcorn. I did skip breakfast, a big no-no, because I slept late to get some extra sleep to start feeling better. I eat so much better on the Core plan than I do on Flex.

I'm trying to figure out what to do with my life. I feel like I'm at a sort of crossroads, and I need to figure out which path to walk down. But I'm stuck and can't take that next step. I sort of feel like once I lose the weight, it will be an easier choice. But I also don't want to be one of those people who waits for their life to start and never lets it happen because they never do lose the weight.

*cough* Excuse me, I've been out sick with a cold, and I'm still not 100 percent yet. But I went back to work - and Weight Watchers - today. I lost 9 pounds in the last two weeks! Of course, since I was sick a week, I'm sure that might be part of it. But I'm going to stay on track and keep going.

One bummer is that my original WW starting weight is 273.2, and that's what they're still using. So my Weight Watcher awards will be based on that figure, but I'll continue to celebrate goals based on my new starting weight as well. My immunity needs a heavy dose of sleep, so I'll write more tomorrow.

A trip to Disneyland was the order of business this weekend. Overall, I made pretty good choices. The thing that shocks me in writing down foods is that the ones that you think will completely mess you up aren't always that bad. Bread products are always my weakness. I have my weighin tomorrow, so we'll see how it goes.

Walking around, I caught sight of myself in the mirror, and realized just how big I'd gotten. The rides felt tight and I got motion sickness. I don't want to be in this body anymore. It's not who I am.

Carbs just kill you on Weight Watchers. If you eat too many, boom! your points are gone. This morning, I went out to breakfast, and 2 slices of bread with jelly and some hash browns totaled up to 11 points! Yikes! The eggs and bacon were only six. I think this is why when I was following South Beach I did so much better. Carbs just have so many calories for what you get, it's not worth it. You don't get as much bang for your buck, so to speak.

One new favorite, cause I've been in an ice cream mood, are the Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches. One of them is only 2 points, and you feel like you're having a real treat.

Did anyone watch Oprah this past week? She had a show talking about the five ingredients that you need to avoid if they're listed in food: sugar, high fructose corn syrup (see my earlier posts on this one), enriched flour, saturated fat and hydrogenated oil. The best foods are the ones that don't have nutrition labels, cause they're whole foods.

I did great today! One day at a time, one decision at a time. I passed up dessert, chips with my sandwich, and ordered a large salad for dinner. I still have to eat 10 more points just to be at my minimum for the day! I've decided I'm going to do this. I have too many things left to do in my life that I can't do while I'm overweight.

Today was pretty tough, but manageable. There was a party today at work, lots of my favorite junk food. And I did start to eat mindlessly for a while. But tonight at dinner, I scaled back and ate pretty healthfully. I went six points into my weekly flex points, which is about on target. So I did okay, I think. And I did write every single thing down, even the "mess ups."

Well, here I go. I "fell off the wagon" of dieting. The past year was so ironic, as I put a lot of effort into my weight loss, only to end up 1 pound heavier than this point last year. I learned a lot about what works for me, though. I did the South Beach diet for a while, and I felt great on it. It's very similar to the Core program.

So my plan now? Go to Weight Watchers EVERY WEEK. Don't miss a week. Get weighed in every week. Follow the program every day. Take it one day at a time, one decision at a time. Keep busy. Do nice things for myself. Write in this journal every day. Journal every bite of food on the weeks I'm on Flex. On the weeks I'm doing Core, really follow the program. Suggestions?

One thing that I'm going to do is start over at my stats. It's too depressing looking at all those old ups and downs. I will save them for those who want to review. Hopefully the new stats will be much more inspiring!